on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
