She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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