their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
