haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
