No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
