Just fell off a train. Bad.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
