I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
