I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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