Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
