From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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