i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
