'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
