you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
