Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
