He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
