That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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