drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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