Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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