she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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