how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
