dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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