Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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