You're my little dorito
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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