We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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