Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
