Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
vagina is talking i cant
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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