Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
