you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
