Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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