The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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