is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
