glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
