I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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