This girl is more easily done than said...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
