we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
