But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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