What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
