Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Everything about him screamed your future.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
