i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize