now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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