...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
