the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize