I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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