she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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