Non-Jews are for practice
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
