I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
