We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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