I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
