Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
