theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
