Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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