I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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