The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
