I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
