batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
