Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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