she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
