there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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