As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We had to coat check the pizza.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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