Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He better not be in your backpack
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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