I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In America we eat man semen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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