Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
