You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
