He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
