I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize