I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My life is pants optional.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
